Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Closing my 2013 account.

Closing my 2013 account.
Before duty starts this morning, I would like to take a few minutes summarizing and closing my 2013 account; and noting (for myself) lessons I have learnt.

1. Family
- After going through some turbulence and critical period in 2012, with Allah's blessings, we are able to re-launch our family unity bouncing back closer, stronger, and better understanding that to love is to provide happiness to those you love rather than to demand happiness towards yourself.
- As the leader of the family, I must accept accountability that in the end it is me who steers the direction of the ship. Whether we sail safely to an island of happiness or get wrecked in turbulent waters, it is the captain's role to get all on-board together with one mission and with shared values.
- For a family leader, provision of money and material things are not and should not be measures of how well the duty has been discharged. We need to look at the holistic responsibilities; guided by the teachings of Islam.
- 2013 was a year of reckoning for me...I am thankful to Allah that our family is what we are; gaps in our steps, but together we shall reach our endeavor to improve..."Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanatan wafil akhirati hasanatan waqina adhabannaar....Our Lord, give us good in this life, and in the Hereafter, and protect us from the Hellfire."

2. Physically
- Except for a few mornings of temporary thrilling experience on the weighing scale when it showed lesser than normal numerical value, I have been consistently over weight at 95kg. Pat my own back for consistency here~!
- Did MRI and confirmed that my pain in the lower back is caused by 3 slipped discs. "No need to do any operation," The good doctor said, and he added, "But you must lose at least 5kg!" I smiled confidently, "Easy peasy lah 5kg!" I thought...that was in August! No, not as easy when my good intention of taking light dinner is usually followed by large intake of desert and supper.
A side blessing; the back pain has been a wonderful reason (Excuse) for me to get nightly massage from my wife. I must admit, it feels much better when the patting of my back is done by her rather than my own hands~!
- 2013, physically speaking, has been focused on resolution and intention to lose weight...I am grateful I have not lost hope of achieving that~! hahaha.

3. Emotionally
- Oh what a roller coaster year; only God knows what people who are close to me and I have gone through. I thank Allah unreservedly for guiding all of us through the stormy waters. May Allah makes us stronger emotionally, especially to endure our own assault on each other and ourselves.

4. Spiritually
- The best year ever for my spiritual journey. 2013 tops even the year I did my Haj for the first time in 2003 and again in 2011. The one month of Ramadan living in Mekah took me up a steep cliff of humbling realization; "If ye do love Allah, follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins; for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (3:31)
- Syukur Alhamdullillah...All Praise be for Allah, and Salawat and salam for Rasullullah (Allah's peace be upon him).

5. Financially
- A year of consolidation for me; balancing between investing for the future and investing for the hereafter.
- My objective to be financially independent not achieved. A few poor investment decisions have riddled our bank account with leaky holes - in short, the outflow of monthly expenses is higher than the in-flow of rental income. No worries, this is all part of learning; that the real money we own are the ones we give away with charitable heart.

6. Socially
- I pat my own back right upfront, on this frontage. I am surprised by how positive the change has been. Call it maturity (a bit late at my age), or fated to be (I believe in fate), or as a result of thinning of ozone layer in the atmosphere (always work to attribute to nature, when all else fail)...I am still very pleased with the development in this area.
- In 2013 I departed from transit halls meant for flirtatious men. I am on a flight towards becoming a good Muslim who can leave this world at Allah's pleasure, and with whom Allah is pleased. For this I continuously seek Allah's guidance to keep me on the straight path.

7. Professionally
- This year I have contemplated retiring at least twice. However, many reasons convinced me to stay and continue. One of the reasons is the opportunity to drive to Mecca within one hour and Madinah is commutable for a comfortable weekend stay. Of course, I love what I am doing and I enjoy working with people around me. A farmer's son working on a farm - that is a dream come true!

In summary, 2013 has been a year of a very meaningful journey. Allah Kareeem. I pray for all my family members, extended family members, friends and all Muslims and those in search for the Truth - for good health, bountiful of rizq and blessings from Allah.

Have a good one ...

Sunday, December 29, 2013

The journey continues...Looking for the Truth.

After a long absence, and after a few books about Islam which I have sent to her have been received via courier, we were reconnected tonight via FB messenger.

I initiated the conversation, "Hope you are having a wonderful festive season.."
She replied, "Loving it now that the mayhem is over with...and you?"

I googled within my own mind, what could she possibly meant by the word 'mayhem'. My mind refused to work...not to my surprise, having eaten all of 500grams steak just a few minutes before.

My curiosity was answered; she said the mayhem was in reference to the traffic jam on the roads and crowded malls! Festivities anywhere in the world for any religion are the same, they make the capitalists richer!

"Unless of course...we follow Islam's way of life...everything in moderation..." I said but only to myself because I realised instantly, having two steaks is not a good example of moderation.

In September this year I wrote about her journey looking for answers. For a refresher of that episode you can go here.

Our conversation continued.

"...Any special plan for the New Year around the corner?" I asked.

She replied, " that's just a glorified another day...
nothing special, except maybe filing my taxes....that's always super fun....
The turning point in the conversation came after she asked me a leading question, and I responded light heartedly...but it took us into a serious and spiritual path.
"do you have any cool plans on the horizon??" She asked.
"like traveling to canada? And bring a complete set of saudi women dress for you. I wonder how u would look like under a veil"
"awesome!!!!! that's how!!! lol" She said.
"will u put them on? and pose for a camera?"
"of course.....i'll wear it around town.....be the new glow in the dark Muslim.....lol."

She had referred to herself as a 'Glow in the dark' lady because of her fair skin, rarely kissed by the sun. Well, where she lives, sun-shine is a rare uxury.
"i can buy and post by courier to you" I was excited with the idea. Both the idea of her in Arbaya and head-scarf, and even more excited with the idea of her reference to herself as a new Muslim.

Oh God, please make this a reality...if she has questions about Islam, please help me to answer her. If she has even a faint thought about Islam, please make that a stronger shade. Give her the Hidayah like You (Allah) has given to so many people before her.

Her next question blew me out of my seat. "Can you be adopted in, I thought you have to be born in?"

I replied instantaneously, "To be adopted in is even better, because that is done by choice...and to be born in is by default...so yes, you can be adopted in" I answered. Here I translated her use of 'adopted in' as to mean, becoming a Muslim."
"?? where would people get together here?? are there churches or halls?? I don't think ive ever seen even a gathering of any sort.." She followed up.

"We go to Mosques. I will find the address of Mosques nearest to you and let you know..."

She sounded even more serious with her next question and then next. She wanted to know, whether she can just walk into a Mosque?

I was very happy when she told me she had read the oldest version of the Bible cover to cover. It was her reading which opened her heart, when she was as young as fifteen, to find the True answers.

There were so many thing racing through my mind as we were chatting. Most of all, I wanted to be there for her, to continue to guide her along the way...to find the Truth.

"Thank you for being my friend..." Her words reassured me that I wasn't trespassing my boundary.

"God willing, we can be friends who help each other to be better human beings and better servants of God..." I said.

In reply she said, "Ameeen to that!!"

Oh Allah, she is searching for You. I am here desperately wanting to help her find you. Please show me the ways...and take us to Your Straight Path.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Siri SI Kitol: A few random words...

Siri Si Kitol: A few random words

1. On Expat labor in Middle East.
> Busy schedule, persistent loneliness, monthly wire transfers, they are the bread winners, unappreciated.

2. On Sex tourism.
> From richer countries they flock to poorer neighbours. Money in their pockets, and lust in their souls. Unlike migratory birds which cross oceans for survival; these sex tourists destroy the very same principle - they become beasts of prey.

3. On New Year resolution.
> we spend one month to come up with great new year resolutions and the rest of the year to come up with excuses. It is ok, we have all done that. Then a time will come in your life, and guess what, you will quit doing resolution cold turkey...and you won't even feel a tinge of withdrawal symptoms. When you get to that phase in your life, "Relief"..is the word! You have finally come of age. hahaha.

4.  On Selfie.
> Selfie is cool, if...
....you are stranded on a deserted island, alone.
....you are home alone and you suffer from compulsion to have your own picture taken in green sarong and singlet, and to capture on camera every food you take.
....you are in some form of secret relationships, and exchanging some kind of private pictures.

5. On calling a cat a pussy.
> Don't do it! Never ever.
> A cat walks on four legs...
> In the same way you shouldn't call that 'something else' ..."a Bird!" A bird doesn't fly around carrying balls.

6. On Friday Night.
> OMK (Oh Mak Kau....), tonight is the last Friday Night of the year...and I am home alone!!!--

Quoting Kitol: On Warlords and Macais



Since the build up to the PRU13, supporters of both sides; BN and PR have been at logger heads. Each believing its own. Each putting down the other. Each is proxy to warlords, a lot to lose and save for a few hundreds from the envelops of BR1Mm almost nothing to gain.

These blindly loyal supporters are rakyat marhain, common citizens by another name, and known as macai by battle ground nick-name. 

Even the macais can be categorised:

There are hardened warriors - they can take as good as they give. They take no prisoners...shoot to kill, politically speaking, and punch to hurt, sometimes literally. These people I respect.

There are the "Dayang2...Mengata Dulang Paku Serpih, mengata orang kamu yang lebih", they are holier than thou...goody-goody two shoes, and look from their distorted lenses, and see the fault of everyone else on the other side. Their words are sharper than swords, hotter than chill padi ... but has skin thinner than selaput anak dara sunti. A little sarcasm from the other side, they jump and rattles like snakes disturbed from their nestling holes. "How dare...you call me names..." forgotten that they have called the other side by worse names. These people make unworthy opponents...they are no warriors, on the contrary more like dayang-dayang...so fragile with their ego and temperament, yet want to be in the front line.

There are the "baling batu sembunyi tangan type"...throwing in provocation into any unsuspecting forum...only to quickly dart into the shadow of the sidelines...watching others fighting it out. Such gutless behaviour, shame to the side they represent...these people take from both side; willingly licking the soles of enemies if the act benefit them. 

PRU13 has been gone for six months; BN has been reinstated into power. As has been the case in the past, winners soon forgotten those who fought tooth and nails, some even selling their souls for them and reward these very same group of fighters along with other macais from both sides with something called 'cost of living'.

The warlords rise higher in their palatial throne, feeling even mightier, and a sense on invincibility gives them the courage to break their promises; hence increase in toll charges, increase in prices of commodity items, and rise in everything except salary. Salary of the macais that is, for they do remember to look after themselves and patted each others' back with gloves padded with million ringgit wads. 

Worry not, of course. The nation called Malaysia is made of largely, Malays, Indians and Chinese. The dominant component party of BN is UMNO, who represents the Malays. They have a potent formula to win any PRUs...threaten the Malays with the prospect of losing their supremacy, and they will once again fight nails and tooth, to re-elect the warlords who have raped their dignity and thrown sand into their rice bowls far too many times before. 
The Malays are a proud lot...they are too proud even to accept their own follies. 

Before any of the macais reminds me that I too am a Malay and that I am a Malay who has betrayed my forefathers...I will admit loud and clear; I am a Malay and proud to be one.
However, unlike 50% other Malays, I reject oppressors; no matter what political parties they represent. I reject hypocrites. i reject warlords who do not value and reward their soldiers. I therefore reject the policies of the current government to burden the rakyat while their lifestyles are being paid for by the rakyat.

i do have one regret. My regret is that there are macais who are still hanging on to the end of the ropes...unwilling to let go...all in the name of Malay supremacy or for the sake of being loyal to the aspiration of their forefathers.