Public display of emotion, is that good or bad?
Is a man expected to be able to conceal his sadness and only display his happiness, for the sake of manliness?
I begin to doubt the answer to the above question when recently a Saudi friend said, "You have a baby face...you can't hide your emotion...!" That particular observation was made during a period when I was feeling down at work. He said, I look sad.
Do I care? Is a man expected to be able to conceal his sadness and only display his happiness, for the sake of manliness?
I begin to doubt the answer to the above question when recently a Saudi friend said, "You have a baby face...you can't hide your emotion...!" That particular observation was made during a period when I was feeling down at work. He said, I look sad.
Of course I do...that is the reason I try to not shed tears in the presence of others. 'Control Macho' seems to be a cool thing to do.
Recently for example, together with about 20 others, I was listening to Tok Guru Nik Aziz's tazkirah in Mekah when something he said about the Prophet's (pbuh) struggles during the very early days of Islam touched a sensitive point in my heart. I covered my face so that others could not see tears flowing down my cheek. My body shook a little from trying to suppress an outburst of emotion. I just hoped at the time no one noticed. Majority of them were strangers, and it would have been embarrassing for me to be seen in such a state.
So often, my close friends have said, "Hodoh bila orang tua menangis!" (Translated as "It is an ugly sight when old man cries!") And, I take that remark seriously.
Recently for example, together with about 20 others, I was listening to Tok Guru Nik Aziz's tazkirah in Mekah when something he said about the Prophet's (pbuh) struggles during the very early days of Islam touched a sensitive point in my heart. I covered my face so that others could not see tears flowing down my cheek. My body shook a little from trying to suppress an outburst of emotion. I just hoped at the time no one noticed. Majority of them were strangers, and it would have been embarrassing for me to be seen in such a state.
So often, my close friends have said, "Hodoh bila orang tua menangis!" (Translated as "It is an ugly sight when old man cries!") And, I take that remark seriously.
I must admit, I have many soft spots and I have been told that I wear my heart on my sleeves. Amongst my soft spots are...
a)...Any kind of acts of kindness towards the under privilege.
For example, I love the TV program, "Extreme Make over - home edition". Watching this TV program gives me a full license to cry openly in front of my wife and son, Luqman. They have kind of got used to seeing me teary eyed while watching how happy and relieved recipients of new homes are. In a cruel world, I become emotional when I see people being kind to one another.
b)....Any scenes or display of love; whether on TV screen, movies, or real life.
I can get emotional just watching children rushing to the door to hug their moms or dads returning home. When I was in Malaysia in January this year for example, I watched the movie 'The Impossible', and silently cried through many scenes. The movie taps into the most basic of human emotions and shows, through a screenplay that is at times heart-breaking, and at times fills me with elation, that the tragedy of losing everything material can always be overcome, if our loved ones are still by our side, holding our hands.
Display of love, more than absence of love, makes me cry, always.
Display of love, more than absence of love, makes me cry, always.
c)....Certain childhood memories make me sad. Any scenes which remind me of certain memories from the long past can make me choke with emotion. I can get emotional whenever I see parents giving their heart and soul to provide for their children because it reminds me of my own parents, May God Bless their souls.
Even certain songs...bring tears to my eyes.
I am sure each of us has our own sweet spots - when tears freely flow, and we feel better afterwards because once again we are able to let go of our hidden tears.
Even certain songs...bring tears to my eyes.
I am sure each of us has our own sweet spots - when tears freely flow, and we feel better afterwards because once again we are able to let go of our hidden tears.
Back to my opening question, public display of emotion especially by men, is that good or bad?
What is your view?
Salam abg Id!
ReplyDeleteIt's been soo long since I last visited your blog, dulu the bakpo.blogspot. This is Ida if you still remember. :) Personally I think it is ok and acceptable to display their emotions. After all we are all human. When my mother-in-law passed away, after a long ailment, I was expecting to see my hubby cried. And he didn't. He helped all the way up to the funeral process and still did not cry. I was somehow getting agitated but did not raise the issue to him. Deep down I want to see him cry, funny eh..but for me the cries will mean that he missed his mum who he loved very much.
And true enough, the cries came out a week later after our jemaah maghrib at home, bursting out in tears, body shaking rigorously..I hugged him tight and he then said that he really missed his mum..and I for sure know that he has been holding that for too long.
Display of emotions is very humane and that is nothing wrong with it..even if it is for men.
And you for sure..have such a soft heart! Take care ya! :)
Salam Ida...let me guess....adakah ini Ida yang pernah kita lunch bersama one of your friends di restoren Yusof Haslam dulu?
DeleteI am sorry to hear about the demise of your mother-in-law...Innallillahhiwainnaillaihirojiún...semoga Allah rahmati roh beliau dan ditempat bersama para Solihin...
Isteri yang baik dan solehah ialah seorang isteri yang menjadi pendamai hati suami...bagus sangat tu Ida jaga hati suami begitu...:-)